It Pays to Increase Your Jargon Power
With Dr. Egghead

a) A plastic surgeon package deal which includes: a face lift, breast implants, liposuction, and belly reduction.
b) What universities offer outstanding science students to encourage their attendance in physics programs.
c) Another spelling for the foil pouch surrounding Alka Seltzer tablets (usually: "fizzics package").
d) The primary and secondary stages of a nuclear warhead. The primary stage consists of the fissile material(s), and high-explosives and a deuterium-tritium "booster." The secondary stage contains both thermonuclear (fusion) and fission components.

One-point safety

a) The blinking red light at the top of the Washington Monument that keeps planes form crashing into the tip.
b) An accident prevention course for speakers who like to use pointers.
c) A needlepoint stitch designed to ensure that one's pants will stay up.
d) A system to ensure that, in case of accidental detonation at one point on the high explosive that surrounds the primary of a nuclear weapon, there will be less than one chance in a million that the nuclear explosive yield will be greater than 4 pounds of TNT.

DARHT

a) The short form for d'Artagnan, one of the three musketeers.
b) The acronym for Don't Access Radioactive High-level Trash. The DOE is considering putting a sign with this acronym around Yucca Mountain.
c) A small missile with a sharp point at one end and feathers at the other that some nuclear weapons designers would love to develop if funding were approved.
d) The acronym for Dual Axis Radiographic Hydrodynamic Testing Facility. Using non-fissile analogs like plutonium-242 and depleted uranium, DARHT would study the physical behavior of plutonim-239 and highly enriched uranium in the primary of a warhead under conditions of extreme pressure and temperature which prevail during detonation.

NIF

a) To smell, as in the expression: "get up and nif the coffee"
b) The sign standing for: "No Irons in the Fire" which is hung at the door of nuclear weapons labs during the weekend.
c) The term of endearment by which Nephertiti's husband called her in the privacy of their home.
d) The acronym for National Ignition Facility, a laser fusion facility, which can be used to study thermonuclear reactions in the deuterium-tritium primary booster and in the secondary of a nuclear weapon.

Kindergarten

a) Where children learn to get along.
b) Where children take naps and learn to play in an orderly way.
c) Where nuclear weapons designers look for new talent.
d) All of the above.

Zero yield

a) A bad harvest year.
b) A bank robbery where the robbers leave with nothing.
c) A common cause of accidents occuring on highway entrance ramps.
d) The term describing a type of comprehensive test ban treaty under which no nuclear explosions, however small, would be allowed.

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Answers:
1. d
2. d
3. d
4. d
5. d
6. d